During his high school years in the early sixties, Tom Dempsey’s parents sometimes received unexpected telephone calls late at night.
Tom Dempsey chats with guests during the cocktail reception in his honorThe callers were usually new parents of “less than perfect” children, worried fathers and mothers who were calling Tom’s parents because he had been born “less than perfect” himself, missing his right hand and part of a foot.
As Tom Dempsey told attendees of the second event in San Dieguito’s Alumni Lecture Series, the unexpected callers usually had the same question: “How can we best raise our child?”
Mr. and Mrs. Dempsey’s answer was simple: “Don’t be afraid to let your child fail.”
“And if you think about it,” Tom told the audience, “who are the only people we know who have never failed? They’re the people who’ve never tried anything.”
Tom Dempsey, former NFL placekicker and alumnus of San Dieguito’s Class of 1964, knows plenty about trying things, and he entertained the crowd gathered at the Inn at Rancho Santa Fe on Feb 9 by telling several funny stories about his high school, college, and professional careers in football. (You can view photos from the event here.)
Before his talk, Dempsey mingled with old classmates and fans at a cocktail reception, posed for pictures and made himself available to everyone. Alumni from several years were represented at the event, as well as school parents, staff, and other members of the community.
Jeff Zevely, alumnus of the Class of 1988 and current Channel 8 news reporter, then introduced Dempsey to the audience and played two video presentations, one a humorous video essay on the art of placekicking and the other a salute to Dempsey’s career.
Jeff Zevely, Class of 1988 and reporter for KFMB Channel 8When Dempsey took his place in front of the crowd he reminisced about San Dieguito, where he tried out for all the sports teams despite his “less than perfect” body. During the basketball tryouts Coach Ernie Zeno looked him over and told him to follow him to the wrestling room. “This,” Coach Zeno told Dempsey, “is where you belong.”
As it turned out Dempsey not only made the varsity wrestling team, but the varsity track and football teams, where he was described as one of “the league’s best defensive tackles.” Not that this high status mattered to his parents or coaches. “All the adults knew us — it would get back to your parents if you got into trouble. And Coach Ernie Zeno — he might smack you.”
Later, Dempsey described what it was like immediately after kicking his record-making field goal on the 8th of November in 1970: the New Orleans police kept him in the locker room for several hours in order to protect him from the celebrating crowds outside the stadium. He couldn’t phone his date to let her know where he was, so she promptly went out with a more punctual beau.
No matter… he and the future Mrs. Dempsey worked it out, married, raised a family and now Dempsey coaches his 8-year-old grandson’s football team.
“I show the kids how to win,” he said. “Not to cheat, but to do what is necessary to win. I prepare them to play football. I tell them, ‘If you have a test, you can skip practice, but you have to bring me the test — and it’s got to be a B or better.’”
After a lifetime playing for football teams as diverse as the Eagles, the Rams, the Oilers and the Bills, Tom and Carlene settled in New Orleans. Like most of the population they had to evacuate because of Hurricane Katrina. Hoping to make the best of what they expected to be several days, they decided on Lake Michoud, where Tom could go fishing — only to discover the lake had been drained.
Their luck soon went from bad to worse. When Tom was let back in to the city to survey the damage to their home, he found it sitting in 3 feet of water, muck and mold. Everything in the home was lost, including all his memorabilia.
He immediately called his wife. “I told her, ‘I’ve got good news and bad news.’ ‘What’s the good news?’ she asks. And I tell her, ‘You know all that brand new furniture you wanted?’”
Tom Dempsey isn’t complaining, though. He says they were lucky, that it was all “stuff” and could be replaced. And the way the people of New Orleans came together to help each other “really renewed my faith in humanity.”
At the end of the talk, Encinitas City Councilman Dan Dalager (’68) mentioned that some people might wonder what a football legend was doing raising money for a Performing Arts Center. Dempsey responded that thanks to his wife’s influence he understood perfectly how important the arts are to a well-rounded education. “Besides,” he said, “theater classes are the best places in the world for boys to meet girls.”
To thank Mr. Dempsey for his appearance on behalf of the Performing Arts Center, the Foundation presented him with Mustang memorabilia, including a Mustang sculpture by former Encinitas artist Alan Pfeiffer, as well as CD-ROM versions of the 1964, 1963 and 1962 yearbooks he lost to Hurricane Katrina.
Mr. and Mrs. Tom and Carlene Dempsey (center), with Charles Higgins (left) and Bill Sullivan (right). Dempsey, Higgins and Sullivan are all members of the Class of 1964.
